How to support a family member moving into a care home

Deciding to transition a family member into a care home can be one of the most significant and often emotional chapters in our lives. If you’re currently navigating this journey with a family member and are unsure where to start, you’re not alone. 

Moving a loved one into care can feel like a huge, final step, but it’s often the start of a new kind of relationship that requires a different level of patience and understanding. When moving a family member into care, there are several factors to consider before making any final decisions.

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When is the right time to move a family member into a care home?

Knowing when to move a loved one into a care home can be hard to determine for family members. There is ultimately no ‘right time’, as each scenario is unique. However, there will come a point when the balance tips, and being able to confidently manage your loved one’s care in the home is no longer a viable option. It can often be more useful for families to ask themselves whether the home care environment is providing adequate safety, stimulation and medical care, and how caregiving is impacting the rest of the family unit.

There are typically three key indicators that suggest it may be time to move your loved one into a care home:

1. If safety becomes a daily risk

When your family member’s physical, mental or behavioural challenges pose a constant risk to themselves or others – such as frequent falls, forgetting to turn off the oven, mismanaging critical medications, or wandering away – this is a big sign that they require more stringent care, and that a home care environment is no longer safe for them. Moving your family member into a care home offers a safe, structured setting that’s designed to mitigate these risks and provide professional care 24 hours a day.

2. If the quality of life is diminishing

Beyond physical safety, it’s important to consider the daily experience of your loved one in their home, and whether they’re getting the fulfilment they need. If your relative is increasingly isolated, lacks social interaction, or is struggling with basic personal care, it may be time to consider moving into a care home. Residential homes offer engaging activities that provide social engagement, regular healthy meals and expert healthcare assistance that can significantly improve an individual’s daily enjoyment and mental wellbeing.

3. If the caregiver has reached burnout

While the health of your family member is important, your own well-being as a caregiver also needs to be considered. If being a primary caregiver has driven you, or other family members, to the point of burnout or illness, then you can no longer maintain that level of support for your loved one. Recognising that you’re no longer in a position to care for your family member can be hard to admit, but it’s a real sign of strength and selflessness to acknowledge your loved one requires more extensive care. Moving your family member into a care home can allow you to take a step back from the role of primary caregiver and prioritise being a loving and supportive family member instead.

Signs a family member may require a care home

It can be difficult to decide when a family member needs more dedicated support than you can safely provide at home. This decision is rarely down to a single event, and is instead often a slow accumulation of signs that indicate the need for more specialised care.

If you’ve noticed declining patterns in a loved one’s physical, mental or behavioural state, it may be time to explore moving into a care home.

Safety and physical wellbeing

  • Frequent accidents or near misses: This could involve more frequent falls, burns from unattended cooking, or getting lost (even for short periods).
  • Declining personal hygiene: Significant difficulty or refusal to bathe, change clothes, or attend to dental care, leading to health risks like skin infections.
  • Unsafe medication management: Repeatedly forgetting to take essential medication, taking the wrong dosage, or double-dosing.
  • Severe weight loss or poor nutrition: Frequently skipping meals, being unable to safely prepare adequate food, or forgetting to eat entirely.

Cognitive and emotional indicators

  • Escalating memory loss: Extreme confusion that is not manageable with simple reminders, especially issues with time, places, or recognising familiar people.
  • Sudden changes in mood or behaviour: Increased agitation, aggression, deep depression, or withdrawal that makes communication and daily life stressful for everyone.
  • Walking around the environment or ‘sundowning’: Becoming restless, confused, or anxious in the late afternoon and evening, which makes night time care challenging and potentially dangerous.
  • Isolation and loneliness: A significant lack of social engagement or activities that once brought joy, leading to a noticeable emotional decline.

Caregiver stress and home environment

  • Caregiver burnout: When the primary caregiver and surrounding family are experiencing extreme exhaustion, illness, depression, or anxiety as a direct result of caregiving demands.
  • The home environment is no longer safe: Despite modifications, the house presents too many obstacles, or the required level of physical assistance (e.g. lifting, transferring) is beyond what a family member can safely provide.

What care home options are there?

Finding the right care home for your loved one can be a daunting task. All care homes are designed to meet the care needs of residents; however, it is important to understand that not all care homes are the same, with many offering different levels of care, medical equipment and social activities. The best fit will be one that matches your family member’s current care needs and expected future requirements.

1. Residential care homes

Focus: Support with daily living.

What they offer: A secure, home-like environment where staff provide 24-hour supervision and assistance with everyday activities.

Best suited for: Individuals who are mostly mobile, but need regular help with tasks like washing, dressing, getting around, using the toilet, and taking medication. Residential care homes often offer a lively social programme and handle all cooking, cleaning, and laundry. There isn’t always a qualified nurse on-site 24/7, with any medical needs being met by visiting healthcare professionals, such as a GP or district nurse).

2. Nursing care homes

Focus: Medical care and complex health needs.

What they offer: Nursing homes offer everything a residential home does, as well as 24-hour care from a qualified, registered nurse to handle more complex or changing medical conditions.

Best suited for: Individuals who have severe physical disabilities, are recovering from a major illness or surgery, or have a long-term medical condition that requires regular clinical monitoring (e.g. managing a catheter, administering complex medication/injections, or treating wounds). The constant presence of a qualified nurse is the key difference.

3. Dementia care homes

Focus: Safety and structure for those with cognitive impairment.

What they offer: Dementia care homes, which can be either residential or nursing, depending on the level of physical care required, feature environments specifically designed to reduce confusion and promote safety for residents with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. This includes clear signage, secure doors to prevent walking around the environment, and staff who are trained in dementia-specific communication techniques.

Best suited for: Individuals whose primary challenge is memory loss or cognitive decline, often paired with disorientation or anxiety.

4. Respite care homes

Focus: Short-term, temporary care arrangements.

What they offer: Respite care homes offer a vital break for caregivers in a family who are reaching burnout. They provide time for the caregiver to rest, recover from illness, focus on their personal needs or take a much-needed break. They can also be a good way to trial out if a specific care home is right for your family member, without committing to a long-term stay.

Best suited for: Individuals who require short-term, temporary care, often to give their primary caregiver a break, and most likely do not have complex or extensive medical needs.

10 tips to support your loved one moving into a care home

1. Involve your relative in conversations

When thinking about moving into a care home, include your family member in early conversations and decision making. This will help them to feel more comfortable and in control of what is a difficult decision, and reduces any anxiety about moving into a care setting. Moving into a care home can be considered as a negative or daunting process when it doesn’t need to be. A lot of people are worried about no longer living independently and losing their familiar surroundings, so it is important that a move into a care home isn’t sprung upon them. 

Once you feel like your loved one is comfortable with the thought of moving to a care home, book some appointments to visit some local care homes, so they can see what daily life in a care home looks like. This is a great opportunity for them to ask questions about any concerns to care home staff, if they are able to do so.

Talking about the option of a residential care home well in advance can give your elderly relative time to process the thought of moving, so when it comes to the right time, they’ll be more open to the idea. When speaking about residential homes, it is important to discuss the benefits that the family member will have, which include being surrounded by professional carers, living in a safe environment, and being with other individuals who they can socialise and develop relationships with.

2. Research and visit the care home together

When moving into a care home, one of the biggest stressors for your loved one can be the lack of familiarity with a new environment. Research any potential care homes together, and visit them as a family, so you can all meet the staff and existing residents to help your relative feel more comfortable before moving in.

3. Try to pre-empt any problems

To make the transition to a care home as smooth as possible, outline any potential problems to the care staff ahead of time to help prevent conflict, anger or upset following the move. Some families like to create a ‘get to know me’ folder for care staff, including personal details, such as:

  • Preferred name, nickname, and title
  • Career highlights, hobbies or interests, and favourite music/movies
  • Any triggers for agitation or anxiety
  • How they like their tea/coffee, or if they have any ‘safe foods’

4. Talk to care home staff

A key part of helping your loved one settle into their new care home is to address any of your concerns as their previous caregiver and family member. Speak to the care staff about any worries you have to help you and your family with the transition of care.

5. Bring personal items

Making your loved one’s new room feel like home, and ensuring it has a sense of familiarity is a huge part of moving into a care home. Consider bringing cherished personal items that are associated with positive memories, such as their favourite blankets, photographs, or books.

6. Maintain family connections

Keeping in regular contact with your loved one, especially during the early stages of moving into a care home, can offer a sense of comfort and familiarity that makes the whole process a lot smoother. This could be through regular visits, phone calls, video chats or emails.

7. Encourage involvement in activities

While visiting your family member is important, try not to let this prevent them from joining in social activities at the care home. Try to encourage them to attend a small group activity during your visit if they’re a bit nervous, or ask the activities coordinator to invite them personally to more activities, so they feel included.

8. Put together a checklist

It can be helpful to put together a ‘moving into a care home checklist’ so all belongings and emotional needs can be accounted for during the transition. This might include:

  • Finalise paperwork: Ensure the facility has copies of the necessary documents (Power of Attorney, insurance information, etc.).
  • Pack an essential bag: This includes clothing, toiletries, and medications needed for the first 2-3 days, and should be kept separate from other bags for easy access.
  • Collect comfort items: Framed photos, a favourite blanket, a specific pillow, and small decorations to make their new room immediately familiar.
  • Prepare a brief biography: Summarise their life, career, favourite hobbies, preferred routine, and any special dietary or emotional needs for care staff to review.
  • Keep the visit short: Let the dedicated moving team handle the logistics. Have your loved one arrive after the room is largely set up to minimise confusion and stress.
  • Establish a familiar corner: Prioritise setting up one comfortable area immediately (like the bed or a favourite chair) with their most cherished comfort items.
  • Meet the primary caregiver: Introduce yourself to the care assistant who’ll be working with your family member that day, and share a few key tips about their immediate needs.
  • Have a clear, loving goodbye: Keep the farewell brief and positive, stating exactly when you’ll return.
  • Keep communication meaningful: Focus on calling or visiting to share moments, not to ‘do’ things. Let the staff manage care tasks.
  • Check the activity schedule: Gently encourage your loved one to participate in group activities to help establish a routine and meet other residents.
  • Ask for updates: Check in with staff regularly to ask how your loved one is adjusting.

9. Establish a routine

Ensuring that your family member’s day-to-day routines are largely unchanged when moving into a care home helps to prevent any anxiety or agitation over their new environment. Try to maintain consistent wake, meal and leisure times, similar to those they experienced at home, and be sure to communicate this routine clearly with the care staff.

10. Be a positive presence

When visiting your loved one, particularly in the first few weeks, focus on emotionally connecting with your loved one through activities such as sharing their favourite treats, reading a book together, or simply holding their hand. Remember, you’re no longer their primary caregiver, so allow the staff to handle the care needs, while you focus on having loving, quality time with your family member.

How we help your loved ones settle in

Navigating the move into a care home is one of the most challenging times a family can undertake. The transition of care may take time, but you don’t have to manage it alone. At Dunham Care Homes, our compassion extends beyond the resident to the entire family. Our team understands that continuity and comfort are key, which is why we specialise in making the move as seamless and kind as possible. Get in touch with us today to book a viewing or talk to our staff about any of our care homes.

Moving into a care home FAQs

Who do I need to inform when moving into a care home?

When moving into a care home, you will need to inform your GP, your local council (for Council Tax and financial review purposes), relevant benefits departments (such as the DWP/HMRC), the bank, and relevant insurance and utility companies.

What can I take into a care home?

You can take personal items that make the room feel more like home and are necessary for comfort, including:

  • Clothes: make sure these are clearly labelled. Prioritise comfort and ease of washing.
  • Personal toiletries: favourite soaps, lotions, etc.
  • Home comforts: such as framed photos, a favourite blanket/quilt, small ornaments, books, or puzzles.
  • Essential personal equipment: glasses, hearing aids, mobility aids, and a supply of current medications.

Always check with your specific care home about bringing furniture or electrical items, as they must comply with fire and safety regulations.

What if I'm struggling to settle in?

It’s common to feel nervous, scared or agitated upon moving into a care home. If you’re struggling to settle into your new care home, it’s important to share your concerns with your primary caregiver or other care home staff to explain how you feel. They can then offer tailored support, contact your family, or the local council’s social services for additional emotional support.

Who makes the final decision on moving a family member into a care home?

Ultimately, the family member who will be moving into the care home will make the final decision, provided they have the mental capacity and clarity to do so.

If the person lacks mental capacity, then the final decision is made in their best interests by either a family member with Lasting Power of Attorney, or by social services and healthcare professionals, after consulting with family members.